| Miscarriage in Fiction |
[Jun. 3rd, 2008|01:56 pm] |
This webcomic Ctrl+Alt+Delete -- which I don't read, I just followed a link from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) divalea's journal -- just had the major characters suffer a miscarriage and loss of pregnancy.
The webcomic's creator wrote a long text post about this particular comic, and why he chose to have the miscarriage take place:
If a baby was introduced to the strip, Ctrl+Alt+Del would not suddenly convert into a parenting comic strip, with changing diapers every other strip, etc. This is a comic, and I don't need to show every mundane detail of these characters' lives. They are rarely seen eating, and I've never shown them going to the bathroom. Do you think that they just never shit? Of course not. It's just naturally assumed that some everyday stuff goes on around whatever is shown in the comic. Same thing with a baby (Yes, I'm comparing parenting to shitting. Can you tell I'm not a Dad?). There would of course be some baby-centric storylines now and then, but nothing says it has to take over the whole strip.
Becoming a parent changes people, without a doubt. But it doesn't necessarily change people into responsible, uptight working stiffs with no sense of humor. Especially in comicstripland. If Ethan became a father, there would be some changes, some forced growth. But he'd still be Ethan.
Here's one I think I heard mentioned a while back, and that I anticipate being mentioned: "Tim will never do a miscarriage because then the comic strip will become all sad and depressing".
Again, I disagree. A miscarriage is definitely not a joke, and I have no intention of making light of it. And it can be a tough and emotional thing for couples to go through, speaking from personal experience. And I know that it's often much harder on the woman than on the man. However, I also know that it doesn't necessarily turn you into a sad, depressed sack of tears for the rest of your life. People can move past it, and heal.
This falls in with what I was just saying above. Yes, a miscarriage is a very sad occurance. But nothing dictates that I now need to follow Ethan and Lilah through every second of their sad emotions, putting us right in the middle of it where, yes, it would be a bit depressing. There are a number of supporting characters in the strip through which I can tell the story, or I could break away completely with some one-shots and come back to join the characters post-ground-zero, when the pain isn't so fresh, to show how they handle it.
Now I'm sure some of you are wondering what my motivations were for this particular story path.
As I've said in the past, the grand plan for the comic and its characters has been written for years. I knew that (and how) Ethan was going to propose to Lilah when I introduced her into the comic. I knew when he proposed that shortly before the wedding Lilah was going to get pregnant and then miscarry, and I had to wait two years to write it. I know what happens next, and I know how they handle it. I know what happens even further down the line. I know what Scott is doing in his room. I know who moves out and when. I know who dies and who doesn't die. And I know that, through all of it, Ethan is still Ethan, Lilah is still Lilah, and Lucas is still Lucas, and they are all still gamers.
And more importantly, I know that I have a storyline that can keep the comic going for a long, long time, and most importantly, keep me anxious to write the next part for you. Because for me, there needs to be more there than just playing games. The characters and their lives need to be interesting enough that I want to keep writing about them while they play the games.
So in part, this just serves to set up the next part of the story. On a base level, it's just a good twist. Conflict makes for interesting story.
On a deeper level, I really have a desire to stress test Ethan and Lilah's relationship, to see if there is really something there that would keep them together despite Ethan's antics, and I decided that this was the best way to go about it. I know from personal experience what it can do to a relationship. Some many years ago, long before I started the comic, I was in a relationship and we suffered a miscarriage. Now, this relationship was toxic to begin with and doomed to fail regardless, so that the miscarriage was the straw that broke the camel's back came as no surprise. It was a pregnancy neither of us wanted in the first place, so the event didn't effect me nearly as much as it would, say, a couple who was trying for a child. Still, I saw the emotions it can bring up first hand, and I saw how it could truly hurt someone. It's a tough thing to handle because it's nobody's fault. There's nobody you can blame.
It can cause a rift in a relationship without someone having to be the "bad guy", as in infidelity or lying. And I wanted to see if and how Ethan and Lilah's relationship could weather it.
And also... I wanted to see if I could write it. If I could pull it off. Call it creative curiosity, I guess.
I realize that to some degree, he is writing about his own experience with miscarriage. (And I myself have never been in a relationship that's gone through that, although I have several friends who have similar, or had a very young child die.)
But I do have concerns about the way such things are used in fictional settings in general, this being the latest example -- I worry especially about male writers who jump to miscarriage (or spousal abuse or rape or any other event which happens primarily to the female character) as an "easy" way to build drama and stretch their characters, by whom they invariably mean the male character much more than the female character.
Note that in the C+A+D comic itself, the miscarriage is shown only -- so far -- from the perspective of the male character. It's an event which happens to him according to the comic; we don't know what she went through. Maybe the next strip will follow up on this; maybe not.
The small amount of relief that I felt when I saw the comic creator had his own experience with miscarriage was pretty much dashed by these sentences:
Now, this relationship was toxic to begin with and doomed to fail regardless, so that the miscarriage was the straw that broke the camel's back came as no surprise. It was a pregnancy neither of us wanted in the first place, so the event didn't effect me nearly as much as it would, say, a couple who was trying for a child.
That doesn't give me hope for a tasteful handling of this issue, really. I don't follow Ctrl+Alt+Del, though, so my interest here is mainly about the broader issues of portraying miscarriage and other female-centric tragedies in fictional settings -- comics, web comics, roleplaying games, and so on.
How do you think such issues are best handled, and in what way? To what extent does the gender of the writer matter? Does the focus of the story (e.g. "I was raped" vs "my girlfriend was raped"; "I had a miscarriage" vs "she had a miscarriage") affect how you'd view such a story?
What roles do the medium and genre play? (E.g., is there a difference between a miscarriage roleplayed out in Dogs in the Vineyard and a miscarriage in D&D? Between a rape in Sandman and a rape in Justice League?) When have you seen such issues handled tastefully, and when have you seen them grossly mishandled?
Note: No one, least of all me, is saying "never ever write about miscarriage" or even "men shouldn't write about miscarriage."
Update: As I alluded to but didn't say above, I think this also relates to the whole "rape Sue Dibny" storyline that played out in Identity Crisis at DC Comics. It's the same kind of thing.
Other blogged reactions:
Jeff and Sam + 2 little ones -- "Loss": Long ago, in a previous life, my wife and I had what I call a mini-miscarriage.
irocker -- "WTFISH": TIM, YOU SUCK.
wunderkind -- "DURRRRRRRRRRRR~: Why did he do that! I wanted to see the baby grow. Now it's all depressing and makes me want to hang myself.
raggedy_man -- Gosh, that was both suprising and moving: Personally I'm impressed. Saddened, actually upset for the characters, but impressed that the writer was willing to handle a topic like that. Especially as its something so personal.
The Mac Resistance -- "Today's Ctrl+Alt+Del Comic: My first reaction was, “Does he have kids? A wife? Has he been through this?” I have, and it’s something I almost never talk about.
Greg Awarski -- "It takes courage and a willingess to reach out...": Tim Asbath. You write a great comic. [..] I'm not sure if that'll mean anything to you, but what it means, coming from me, is that you have proven that you know the difference between writing a good comic, and writing a phenomenal story.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) scans_daily -- "Today's Ctrl+Alt+Del: Have a hanky ready, this one’s heartbreaking":
Four images, no words, none needed. -- but lots of comments to read from s_d folks!
Get Off The Internet -- "Have a hanky ready, this one’s heartbreaking": Double-plus-good if the lead protagonist is male and doesn’t actually suffer anything at all, and drinks all around if that same male protagonist is the stand-in for the strip’s creator! It’s like Munchausen-by-Proxy Syndrome with an extra protective layer of “I’m just trying to tell a dramatic story” pretentiousness. (follows up on the scans_daily post) |
|
|
